1. Part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning joined up writing really necessary?
7. Google maps really needs to start their directions on number 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my street.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection, again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..
16. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
20. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their mobile phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.